Blue
conjoined at the tongue

El Maestro Esta Aqui...Y Te Llama

  Posted October 12th 2009 by PaPa

Machu Pichu was pretty much exactly as you would expect from the pictures. To be honest, one of the most pleasurable aspects of my visit was the surrounding area - there are numerous treks around the forested mountains that can be completed in a couple of hours and make you feel like Indiana Jones following an ancient jungle trail. Trekking up a nearby mountain involves scaling several rather long, wooden ladders, which gets more interesting with the occasional creaking sound as you step on a rung or whenever you notice that the wood has rotted away around some of the nails.

In a slightly surreal experience, whilst I was actually inside the city of Machu Pichu, a group of five or so Peruvian girls asked me - I thought - to take a picture of them against the ruins. Naturally I agreed, only for it to transpire that what they actually wanted was a picture of themselves with me. I'm assuming that this was due to my height (which in South America makes me a fucking giant) rather than my stunning good looks. In another surreal experience, just this afternoon a man came up to me as I was sitting in the plaza smoking, said something about Russians and then walked away, angrily throwing his mobile phone into a fountain as he did so.

Ate a pleasant if overpriced meal in a restaurant in Cusco whose sound system was playing hotel lobby covers of various classics such as the Breakfast Club theme tune, "Like A Virgin" and "In The Air Tonight". If you're currently thinking that hotel lobbies rarely have drum sets you would be correct - it was a cover of "In The Air Tonight" without fucking drums.

I am back in Ica for now, just chilling out for a bit whilst I try and think of something to do for my last week.

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As much as I hate to break Ian's stream of awesome posts...

  Posted October 9th 2009 by Badcore.

Celebrating my first week in full time employment!

Big it up.

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Conversations

  Posted October 8th 2009 by PaPa

"Massage, amigo?"
"No."
"Maybe later, amigo?"
"No."
"Tomorrow, amigo?"
"No."
"Next week, amigo? Next month? Next year?"
"No."
"Eres mal amigo!"

"Hey, you want coke?"
"No."
"Is good cocaine, man."
"No."
"Is nice, man. Why you no want cocaine?"

"Sunglasses, amigo? Un sol."
"I'm wearing sunglasses."
"But these are Ray Bans!"
"No."

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Pictures and Shit

  Posted October 8th 2009 by PaPa

Check the last page of the img page on this very site. Apologies for poor compression - I have no photoshop.

Why Do Flowers Die

  Posted October 4th 2009 by PaPa

Well, I just got back from my 3 day tour of the Salar de Uyuni and the Bolivian southwest. The tour consisted of myself, a half English, half French Australian guy, a Polish couple on their honeymoon, a Czech couple and our non-English speaking driver slash guide in a Toyota Land Cruiser.

The tour departed at 10:30 Bolivian time (i.e. at 11:30 GMT -5) and we hit the salt flats, which are difficult to convey in words other than saying that they are big, flat and white. We spent the night at a hotel made of salt at the edge of the flats, which was actually quite a pleasant establishment. After dinner we settled down for a chat, which consisted largely of the Czech bloke talking about how terrible socialism was. The Polish guy seemed to be less impassioned on the subject, his response to the Czech's claim that under socialism the waiting period for a car in Czechoslovakia was five years being to grin widely and say "In Poland, was three years." After the ladies went to bed the men settled down to a game of poker, using coca leaves as chips.

The title of this post refers to one of the songs on the cassette that the driver played on repeat for the entire fucking second day, which when not in the car was spent at various rock formations and large blue lagoons populated by pink flamingoes. The hotel for the second night was significantly less comfortable, to the extent that rather than use the toilet most people went and pissed in the sub-zero temperatures outside.

Some twat on another tour decided to break out his acoustic guitar after dinner, and after opening with 'Hallelujah' went on to every other overplayed track you can think of, well into the night even after every one else was trying to get some fucking sleep.

The next morning, rising at a quarter to five in still sub-zero temperatures, we sallied forth to some hot springs where we ate breakfast. Lacking the necessary clothing for full immersion I settled for sitting with my feet in the wonderfully hot water and smoking a cigarette. The last day was mostly concerned with getting back to Uyuni, involving a great deal of fast driving along rough tracks that pounded my buttocks into ground beef.

You may have noticed that I haven't really described any of the things I saw on the tour. Pics in like 3 weeks or something.

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