Blue
secret techniques, illegal manoeuvres

Bump Selecta

  Posted May 30th 2006 by Dae

Whoever it was who came round to my house and surreptitiously downloaded Ecuador and Encoire Une Fois, sir, I thank you. Seeing as I found them on the Mac however - too large, too silver for most of my associates to so much as entertain the prospect of using - I'm forced to consider that it was either acquired personally during some forgotten opium bender, or that it came preinstalled. I know that XP comes, or came, with an obscenely random David Byrne track preloaded, so I suppose it makes sense for Apple to kit their latest machines with euphoric nineties commercial dance.



Such pleasantries aside, I have today been, between Tunnock's Milk Chocolate Caramel Wafer Biscuits, smokes & coffees, quite singularly devoted to the editing mentioned in my last post. How indeed would I find the time to write 'news' were it not to avoid more constructive activity? On a dryer note, the 'basic' motion control facilities available in Final Cut pro are truly a godsend. With HD, digital zooming is at least feasible, while animated speed and rotation begins to give the editor a worrying quantity of creative control (potentially, at least). Gone are the days of cutting: we're into fast motion diagonally zooming cross-fading track pans now, darlings. All this and I haven't so much as opened After Effects. Within the confines of this 16:9 box, I am the will of God.

I Write Things on the Internet

  Posted January 1st 1970 by Dae

The dubious nature of PaPa's monographs aside, it seems to me high time that I made a news post. If things go as planned, this one should really put the 'un' firmly back into 'uninformative'.



If you believe their long defunct advertising campaign, "Lucky Strike separates the men from the boys... but not from the girls." As any purveyor of tobacco will know, the hobby is one that goes far beyond the mere act, nestling quite firmly in the realm of the connoisseur. It was Camels that first crushed my youthful abhorence of the cigarrete (being to this day a hand-rolling man through and through): a virginal obsession as much to do with their packaging than any significance of flavour. My second love of the substance abuse pantheon has proved to be the aforementioned Luckies, whose apparently nonsensical slogon 'It's Toasted' led me to a brief spell of research of which even Jom might approve. It was in that manner that I chanced upon archive.org, and more specifically this Lucky Strike advertisement from the late forties. Obviously, I couldn't restrain myself.



My days have mostly been occupied recently with the filming of Minor Details, a drama directed by friend Marianne as the main ingrediant of our final semester. We'll be done this Sunday: depending on how well the edit goes, I might get it up here for your perusal. As well as being Editor and Assistant Director, I seem to have inadvertently contracted the position of caterer, resulting in me spending this very evening up to my elbows in mayonnaise, attempting my homemade approximation of Coronation Chicken. By night I've been more concerned with Questionable Content, which I tried really hard to hate, and the usual diet of DotA's, digestive biscuits and the like. In other news, Jom, in the manner of Santa Clause, is coming to town, bringing with him an opportunity to meet Harry (and, by unlucky circumstance, Jemmie).



For Aiur.

The Defenestration of Prague

  Posted May 17th 2006 by PaPa

Have you ever read one of those role-playing books? You know the kind of thing - "You find yourself in front of a locked door. Do you:
a) Use the the large iron key you found earlier (turn to page 15)
b) Knock on the door (turn to page 24)
c) Wait for the postman to show up, hit him over the head and steal his clothes, then use your newly acquired costume to bluff your way inside and attempt to kill the occupier, stealing any money he has and then setting the house on fire on your way out (turn to page 3)"

I was reminded of them the other day when sitting down to do an exam. One of the bullet points on the front of the answer book read: "Your attention is drawn to the exam regulations printed on the back of this booklet." They aren't messing about here. They're not going with the pussy route of saying "We are drawing your attention to the exam regulations printed on the book of this booklet." No, they are telling you that your attention has been drawn to the regulations, whether you want it to be drawn there or not. They're effectively turning the exam into a role-playing book, which sucks because everyone knows that only nerds with no friends read role-playing books.

"Your attention is drawn inexorably towards the exam regulations printed on the back of this booklet. Do you:
a) Read the regulations (turn to page 2)
b) Assume that you already know the gist of what they contain and proceed with the exam (turn to page 3)
c) Burn the booklet and then stand on your chair and shout "Students! You have nothing to lose but your chains!" before running from the hall, bodyslamming an invigilator on the way out (turn to page 17)"

» Show 1 reply

SSBB

  Posted May 11th 2006 by PaPa

Okay, Nintendo.


I forgive you.

Nintendooooooooooo

  Posted May 9th 2006 by PaPa

Frankly, Nintendo's opening couldn't have been much fruitier. If your primary goal in watching this press conference was to see a Japanese man prance about like a hyper-active four year old, then it seems you came to the right place. Fortunately, they quickly move on to release date (end of this year), price (low) and controller functionality (awesome).

A key facet of the Wii controller is supposed to be the immersion, and the newest feature in this vein to be revealed is the speaker in the controller. Using the example of firing your bow in Zelda, you'll hear the sound of the bow string drawing back, then when you release you hear the arrow's flight fading from the controller speaker to the TV speakers. The sword functionality of the Wii controller in this game also looks pretty awesome, and the Wii controller, unlike the PS3 one, has rumble.

Nintendo seem to be trying to build up some kind of bad boy image, talking about it's "disruption" of the market. This was at the start of some DS shit that I really wasn't listening to, other than that they're putting a sequel to Wind Waker on it and that the DS Lite is another cruel betrayal of those people who buy Nintendo products when they come out.

They also completely fail to show any footage of the new Super Smash Bros. What the fuck are you up to, Nintendo? You've held out on price, exact launch date and SSB. What the hell did you think gamers wanted to see? Some random fat guy playing tennis with Nintendo bigwigs? No! That's a bad Nintendo! Naughty puppy!

SLN News – low on facts, high on abuse.

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